Diary of a Female Villain™



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I knew this was it. I sat there and my whole life flashed before my eyes. I suddenly remembered everything I had once forgotten. The pain of everything I ever did. Was this my penance? Was this how it was all going to end? I cried and I don’t remember ever crying since my father died. The tears were warm and fell down my face one by one. It was as if time stood still and I could hear my own heart beating. Suddenly I didn’t want to die. I didn’t want to leave this world. This cold darkened place that had become my home. I ran to the door to step outside. I wanted one last glimpse of the sun and to feel the wind on my face. I stood there with my head towards the blue sky. Was it always that blue? Why haven’t I ever noticed? The sun was warm and comforting. It was like when my father use to wrap his hands around my face to kiss my cheek. I felt safe for that moment. Then I heard them coming, the sound of sirens, men shouting, bright lights. But I couldn’t run. I was still stuck in time, not wanting to let go of that feeling. Can one go to hell if I don’t believe there is a God? Will I meet my match in hell if there is one? Was it my time? I fell to my knees and awaited my fate. A tall dark figure stood over me and I put down my hands and bent my neck back ready to be sliced. I will show no fear. It felt like forever and I couldn’t tell if what I felt on my body was tears or blood. Then I felt his hand. His hand reached down to grab mine. He pulled me up. I was so weak, so tired. He picked me up in his arms and he ran. He ran with me through the woods. I could hear the sounds of dogs and guns being fired. With his free hand he fired back. Suddenly he grabbed a latch and we were thrusted underground. Everything went silent. No more dogs, no more gun shots, just silence. He laid me down and gently dried my tears. His hands wrapped around my face and he kissed my cheek. “Never give up.” He whispered. “I will always be with you. You are never alone.” Then he pulled his hood down and I could see his face. Then I woke up gasping and called out… “Father!” But it was all a dream. What does this all mean? I would never cower and give up. Maybe it means… no. I have never needed anyone in my life and I won’t start now! (she walks over to her duffel bag) Time to go do what I do best. (she grabs her knife and puts it into the holster on her thigh) Let’s see how many people I do not need! (she gets a dark look in her eyes and heads out into the night)

DEAR DIARY, (blog 15)

Oh how I love hide and seek. One body part here another one there. It will be like a puzzle for them to see which part belongs to which person. (she looks down at a mark on her stiletto boots) This stain better come off these boots. They are one of my favorite pairs. (she pauses writing to rub the stain then goes back to her diary) I have also made sure that I never get trapped in a cell again with no way out. I have implanted a few microscopic tools under my skin. They are small but pack a punch. I must say I did a fantastic job. It barely left a scar. At least ones that no one else would notice. I also found what I think could be a hidden room in the Detectives house. I was so close to figuring it out when I heard him wake up so I went to the kitchen and pretended I was getting some water. I hate getting interrupted. (she makes a face) I will have to explore that more next time. I also had to get another place for show. He started to ask why we never go to my house. I told him because it was small and not very much to look at. I couldn’t ever bring him here to my real home. This place is a safely guarded secret. It’s not even on the map and I want to keep it that way. So it looks like I have to pretend to live somewhere else sometimes. How drab! Talk about killing the fun. Oh well I’ll entertain him for a night here and there. What I am curious about is what’s in that room if it is a room. (she taps her fingers on the table) I think there is more to the Detective then he wants anyone to know. I like secrets. I have many. I like finding others out even more. I also like pissing the Military Man off. (she grins) Let’s see what he thinks of me now. He should have killed me when he had the chance. Tick Tock. It’s just a matter of time. (she grabs her knife and gun from her duffel bag) Pleasant dreams my diary.

DEAR DIARY, (blog 14)

I think I was just 9 or 10 when my father would take me to the fields to get fresh flowers for the table. He wanted me to appreciate the more human side of life. He used to say the petals are delicate like the balance of our powers. Too much darkness and not enough light and they wither. To find that place for us amongst a world of mortals who can’t see beyond the dark was going to take that fine balance. Emotions were the one weakness that could bring us down. My birth mother was a normal human, she wasn’t like us. Having to watch her age and eventually die was the most excruciating thing I have had to endure. Trying to find a way to keep her young like us was the most important goal my father had but nothing ever worked. We don’t age nearly as fast as the rest of the world, decades to mere years. I never want to lose someone that way again. I think that’s why when my father was killed so early and so young in his life it changed me. Since then I have no regards for life now. If they don’t see anything wrong with taking a life neither shall I. (she stops writing to grab a book off the shelf and opens it to a page where one single rose petal is there) (sitting back down she puts the book by her side) This petal reminds me of the balance I must keep. My father use to say we didn’t have to be alone but look what my step mother did to him, to us. Can I really trust anyone? The Detective has become the only person I have let live this long. He is my opposite. The good side of me I will never be. He, for the moment, is my balance. Maybe that’s my weakness and I won’t let that happen! (she thrusts her knife into the table) Till next time my diary. I need to go leave another gift for the Military Man. This time one the whole town will never forget!

DEAR DIARY, (blog 13)

There has to be a way out of this cell. I looked high and low, left no bar untouched. The lock was the most sophisticated I’ve ever seen. I would have been able to crack it if I wasn’t knocked out cold with chloroform and stripped of everything I had on me. There was only a small window on the other side of the room near another empty cell. Only the moon was shining in giving me light. Who brought me here? My guess was the Military Man. Guess he didn’t like my last gift for him. (she grins) Then suddenly the door opened. There was a tall dark figure. I couldn’t see him yet but I could hear his footsteps. I knew it was him as I am highly trained to remember and detect even the smallest sound from everyone I come in contact with. As he walked closer he stood slightly out of my reach. So I backed up a bit as if to appear I was afraid. Then he spoke. Told me it was for my own good and the good of the town. That he wouldn’t harm me, but he couldn’t let me go. That deep dark voice of his echoed through my head. It was almost comforting because I could tell he wasn’t going to hurt me. That would be his first mistake. (she smiles) So I put my plan into action. I suddenly fell to my knees as if I was in pain. Grabbing my side and with a final scream in agony I fell to the concrete floor. There I lay lifeless. He hesitated at first then grabbed a key and ran by my side. He turned me over and that’s when I made my move and how corny of a move to fall for. (she laughs) He’s still alive unfortunately since I didn’t have much time and it seems somehow he managed to set an alarm off, but let’s just say he’s now stuck in his own cell and with some minor flesh wounds. (she grins and she makes an innocent look) These men are so easy to fool. I did manage to grab all my stuff back he so carelessly left on a nearby table. He’s lucky because this is my favorite knife and I couldn’t leave it behind. (she grabs it and runs her finger over the blade and a small drop of blood trickles down) Tick tock I feel his time is coming up. Did he really think he could trap me? (she smiles) Sleep well my diary. I have a lot of planning to do and a Detective to pacify.

DEAR DIARY, (blog 12)

Stone Cold Killer the headlines say. I haven’t been called that in a while. (she grins as she puts the newspaper down) What will the mystery Military Man think of my next little warning for him? It was so messy but I think he’ll get the point. (she picks up her knife to inspect it and runs her finger over the blade) Funny how the heart still beats for a while even after being removed. (her eyes get dark) The black masked man spelled out in blood. They should be finding the body right about… (she looks over to listen to her scanner as the call comes in) now! (she smiles) Oh and the Detective is so busy on the case. He is rather cute when he’s working. You can see him thinking. Little does he know the killer is right in front of his face but I won’t be the one taking the fall. I’ll have to take a peek at his files again. That little black briefcase is by his side like glue. Even when he’s home it’s by his nightstand all locked up with a key. (she twirls the knife with her fingers) A pretty little silver key he keeps in his wallet. He must have an obsession with them since he has collection of various ones on display like a museum, little skeleton ones with very intricate detail. (she places the knife down beside her) He is another mystery I have yet to solve. He has a side to him he keeps locked up. A deep almost dark side I only see in bits and pieces. But I am rather enjoying his company I must admit. I feel like I can be myself. The self I want him to see that is, my more humane side. (she grins) And using his pass card to get into the gun supply room has made my job much easier as well. He has proven to be useful in more ways then one. I think I will go surprise him later. I always get a burst of energy after a kill and I need to burn it off. I think he’ll like what I bought. (she looks in a bag that’s beside her on the table) I hope he likes black. It is my favorite color and I look really good in lace. (she gets a sinister look in her eyes) Till we speak again diary. My secrets are safe with you.

DEAR DIARY, (blog 11)

Time seems to change you in ways you never notice until one day you look into the mirror and your past is just a blur of people and places. That’s why I write in you my dear diary. To save my history so I don’t lose the person I have become. I can look back on mistakes made, places I’ve gone, people I have encountered and learn from them. I regret no entry nor person I have killed. This dark life has become my comfort, my safe haven, the night time especially. The black skies, sometimes giving way to stars that sparkle like diamonds, it’s like an endless world waiting to be taken. My powers gain strength with each person’s life I take. It’s these emotions. They seem to get in the way. They can make you strong or make you weak. As for the Detective, he gave me a single red rose last night. Of all the things I have taken in my life from money to diamonds and rare jewels, this one single red rose seems to haunt me. I’m not sure why. (she pauses then throws it in the trash) I don’t have time to care. I did have an interesting dinner with him. I brought up the article I seen in the paper about the poor girl being hung at the bank. (she makes a phony frown) I needed to know how much he knew and if he was the one working on the case. He tried to be vague about it but I have my ways. (she smiles) So it seems of course they assigned Mr. Super Detective to it. (she sighs) I told him to be careful that I didn’t want to see him get hurt. (she thrusts her knife into the table) Now this throws a wrench in my plans. How to lure out the mystery Military Man while keeping the Detective safe? (she’s tapping her nails on the table) This is all turning into too much work thanks to my new enemy. That just flat out pisses me off and that will be all the more painful his death will be when I catch him. Oh and I will. (she grins) The Military Man has no idea who he just messed with. Sweet dreams Diary.

DEAR DIARY, (blog 10)

I had to take a deep breath. The blow was hard. I think I fell to the ground and blacked out for a few seconds. I kept my eyes closed to pretend I was out cold and then pulled out my knife and quickly slashed his arm to break his grip. It was him, the Military Man from the other day. I had just scored big from the local bank and there he was again from out of nowhere. He tried to take the bag of money from me. Imagine that? (she laughs) He took a lot of hits before he fought back. It was almost like he didn’t want to hurt me. (she stops to think) In the end I won, kept the money and once again he was gone. He has to go. I can handle the cops, the soldiers at the base and I have run across a few foes in the past, but this guy is different. He’s more super human. More like… me. I will have to up my game. Lure him into a trap and figure out who he is. I think he’ll like what I left him. (she laughs) A girl hung from the bank tower with a little note that said “how many more will die for you?” She just happened to be at the wrong place at the wrong time. Tick tock! Guess if she was a good girl she wouldn’t have been leaving a bar at 2am and right into my hands. It was so easy and I didn’t even break a nail. (she looks to admire her polish) Time for my date with the Detective. Let’s hope he doesn’t get too involved in this case. I do hope to keep him around. (she smiles) I have to run. I need time to cover up this bruise on my ribs. (she lifts her shirt to look) I’ve had worse. (she pulls out her make-up bag) Let the games began Military Man.

DEAR DIARY, (blog 9)

It’s been three months since I started dating the detective. I’m sorry I haven’t written sooner but I have been staying at his place most nights. It gives me time to explore his mystery house. (she smiles) He was very guarded at first and had said there was work being done on the other end of the home and that’s why it was closed off. I took a peek around while he was sleeping and there was no work being done, not one bit. So what is he hiding? (she taps her fingers on the table) The place is a mansion and I spent nights trying to figure this one out. If there is something he’s good at keeping it a secret. I rather like this game. I have never met another man with so much intensity yet so much compassion. I didn’t think that existed. Yet it’s frustrating that he’s on the opposite side of the law. Then a strange thing happened last night. I was doing my usual stock up on ammo and I went to the usual base. I must have a thing for men in uniforms because I only killed three this time. (she grins) While I was on my way out a man dressed completely in black wearing a marine face mask comes out of nowhere and grabs my arm. We struggle and as I’m about to pull my knife out he looks right into my eyes and lets me go. Then he disappeared so fast I couldn’t see where he went. Why would he let me go? Then that grip on my arm reminded me of the first night I slept with the detective. Things got a little rough and when he grabbed my arms and held me up against the wall it was tight, but not tight enough to hurt me, and this was the same type of feeling. The first thing I did was check where the Detective was and the GPS tracker showed he was at home, so it wasn’t him. (she looks on her phone) I need to find out who this person is and get rid of him. I can’t take any chances. I won’t let some Military Man get in my way. His time will be up very soon. (she smiles) Sweet dreams my dear diary. Morning awaits.

DEAR DIARY, (blog 8)

The blade went swiftly through his heart. How could I have feelings for someone I barely know? Not him. Not the Detective. So I had to do it while he slept. Looking over at him breathing I stroked his dark hair. I so wanted to look in those eyes one last time. The night had gone so well, too well. I couldn’t fall vulnerable for a man who has the power to find out who I really am. So as my knife went deeper and deeper, he woke. He sat up and tried to grab my arms. It was dark, very dark and the only thing I could see was his outline and I could sense his fear. The warm blood poured out draining down my hand. He begged me to stop but I couldn’t. I stood silent. He finally gave up and I laid him back down to rest one last time with tears running down my face falling one by one onto his chest. Was this love? I didn’t want him to die. I screamed and put my hand over his chest trying to stop the bleeding but it was too late. I couldn’t save him or take back what I had done. Then everything grew black and the pain was so overwhelming I couldn’t take it anymore. I started to run. I ran through the darkness not knowing where I was going just that I needed to be far away from him. (she fell to her knees trying to catch her breath) Then I woke up in a cold sweat. It was all a dream. What does this mean? Why does he get to me like this? Am I worried I’ll kill him or that I won’t? (she thrusts her knife into the table) No I don’t do feelings. They are for the weak. Enough thinking about this. (she erases the thoughts out of her mind) I have to get ready for my date with the Detective. There are things I need to learn. (she slips the blade into her purse) Until next time my Diary.

DEAR DIARY, (blog 7)

I met with the Detective. It seems we both like our coffee black. (she taps her fingers on the table) He was charming and didn’t ask a lot of questions which I liked. It was idle chit chat and mostly about his job thanks to my carefully worded questions and my so called interest in what he does. (she smirks) Which I won’t say that is a lie since I am interested in what he does just not because I care. (she stops taping her fingers and turns her hand over) I had him eating right out of the palm of my hand. (she smiles) A few deep stares, a casual brush of his hand as we both reached for the coffee. Men are too easy. One thing I will say is he is very confident. Just shy enough to make it a challenge but very self assured. Then he got a call from the station and had to excuse himself. Emergency it seems. (she makes an annoyed face) He went speeding off sirens blaring, lights flashing. So we’ll meet tomorrow for dinner. He insisted. (she grins) I rather hate when my plans get interrupted. I just didn’t think they’d find the body that quick… but Miss Prim and Proper had to go. I am still enjoying her diamonds though. (she looks down at her wrist) If she just kept her nose out of the investigation and accepted her boy toy of the week was killed by a random break in she’d still be here. Instead she told the detective she thinks he was seeing someone else and she had to keep pushing and wouldn’t let it go. She’s lucky they brushed it off since he had a reputation for being a playboy and the list would be too long for them to hunt down every one of them. Got to love when they slack on the job. Well that and I am good at covering my tracks. (she grins) Besides, they’d never suspect a women. I made sure I made it look like a man had done it. That’s a weakness society has that works to my benefit. Sweet little me could never have the strength or capability to do that. (She suddenly whips her knife across the room at a dart board without even looking and hits the bullseye) Tick tock! Her time was up! Keep my secrets safe as always my Diary. (she pulls the knife out from the board and goes out into the night)

DEAR DIARY, (blog 6)

It’s the anniversary of my father’s death. (she thinks back to that day) She just sat and watched and did nothing. Guess that’s what you do when you sell someone out for money. There are not many people you can trust in this world and I actually trust no one now. He trusted her and she took his life. If only I had woken up earlier I could have saved him. Or maybe if I was older, had more experience, she would have never gotten away with this. I was only 16, still learning from my father. He thought he loved her and that made him blind and that was his weakness. I always knew there was something about her. She was cold but he couldn’t see that. She was very good at the game. I tried to tell him but he wouldn’t listen. I knew he desperately wanted to give me a home but this wasn’t the way. We did just fine on our own. So I had to just sit by and watch. Well not anymore and not that day. So I had no choice but to do what I had to do… I had to avenge my father’s death. (her eyes got dark) She showed no remorse as I came out from around the corner and asked her why she’d betray him like that. She just gave me that usual cold stare of hers. Then I grabbed her by the throat and held her up against the wall. She laughed as she tried to grab my knife. Not fast enough though. She always thought I was weak. She found out otherwise. As I plunged the blade deep in her empty darkened heart I heard the clock in the room as if the world got silent and the only thing I could hear was tick tock, tick tock. That’s when I knew I had changed. Dear old step mother’s time was up! (she stabs her knife into the table) No one will ever do that to me. I learned from my father’s mistake. (she holds back her emotions as she pushes the thoughts out of her head and looks at the time) I am meeting the Detective for coffee in the morning. This should be interesting. (she smiles) I am going to try to sleep even though I know I won’t be able to. Till next time… sweet dreams my Diary.

DEAR DIARY, (blog 5)

It went pretty well. Although I must say he seems rather cautious, always looking around. Almost like me. (she paused to think about that) I did the classic run in, literally. (she grins) When he spilled my coffee he was rather sweet the way he apologized so many times. Then he bought me another one and asked me to join him but I declined. I didn’t want to seem too obvious. So I took the coffee to go and told him maybe we’ll run into each other again. He smiled and said he’d be looking forward to it and promises next time he won’t be so clumsy. (she smiles) Then he apologized one last time and walked me to the door. I must say he was rather mesmerizing. Dark hair, crystal clear blue eyes with a touch of green, boyish grin, confident yet there was something reserved about him. I noticed he wore cologne. Just a touch to not seem obvious. Strong arms, I can tell he works out. Suit nicely pressed with his badge hidden inside the inside jacket pocket along with a security access card. Wonder when he’ll notice it’s missing? (she laughs) Well not missing, just replaced. (she grins) He’ll think there’s a problem with his, they’ll issue him a new one and well, this one will be mine. (she picks it up and twirls it with her fingers) You never know when this will come in handy. Don’t know why I never thought of this before. It just needs a few tweaks. (she places it down and looks over at the window) It’s getting dark so I need to head out to make a supply run. I’m running low on ammo. (she grabs her gun, loads it and tucks it in the holster) I do my best work in the dark. No one sees me coming. (she grins as she reaches over to grab her knife) As for the Detective… I think I’ll see him in a day or two. He’s been single long enough. (she smiles) Imagine me, with a Detective? The irony in that. Sounds like a match made in… (she stops mid sentence) Let’s just see how this plays out. We’ll talk soon my Diary. I’m off.

DEAR DIARY, (blog 4)

The dry cleaners, grocery shopping, work… this detective is rather boring to follow. His house on the other hand, rather interesting. (she taps her fingers on the table) It’s set way back in a spot even I didn’t know existed. “Clever Detective.” (she smiles as she says it out loud) I’d say it’s around 50 acres, maybe more. Long dark driveway, no street signs, house is surrounded by a tall brick wall with an iron fence which he opened from his car. There was a camera system very cleverly placed in trees, not clever enough for me but your average maybe. (she grins) I had to wait until every last light went out before I made my move. Trap number one, two, then three, disarming them all was getting rather annoying at that point. Why all the security? Sure he must have a lot of people with a grudge doing what he does but this was more then that. (she stops to think) Once I made my way inside I took a quick look around once I knew he’d be asleep. The house was rather large for a single man. No family photos on the wall just a bunch of paintings and expensive things set up to look like a museum. (she runs her finger over the mantel and looks at her glove and it’s spotless) It felt dark and lonely, familiar. Then he woke up. Troubled minds never sleep for long. He walked to the kitchen grabbed a glass of water and just stood there staring out the window. I could have taken him out easy. It just wasn’t the time. So I left before he even knew I was there. Besides, I had some unfinished business to take care of before morning. (she removes the gun that was attached to her side, removes the silencer and places it beside her on the table) A girls work is never done. (she grins) Now as for the Detective, I think it’s time we meet face to face. Time to turn on the charm. (she checks her lipstick in the mirror) This is going to be fun. (she smiles) Till next time my trusted Diary. My secrets are safe with you.

DEAR DIARY, (blog 3)

The flames were so high. I remember just sitting from a safe distance watching. They look rather beautiful next to the snow. Makes it sparkle like diamonds of which I got so many of them today. (she smiles) I also watched the Detective. He was the first to show up. Typical male to try and play the hero on his own. He started to put out the flames even before the firefighters arrived. Such a good soldier boy. I felt his mind so deep in thought as he looked around. They really need better alarms on these jewelry places. This one was so easy to disarm. No challenge in that. (she sighs) Then I seen him pick up what I left for him, a piece of red ribbon neatly placed in a pile of ashes. He quickly put it in that black briefcase of his and looked around to make sure no one seen. So he took my bait. It seemed somehow he knew it was especially for him. (she grins) Little does he know that little red ribbon has a tracking device sewn into the fibers so hair thin he won’t even know it’s there even under a microscope. It’s my best work yet I must say. (she smiles) Now we’ll see where Mr. Detective lives. Then I’ll make a little visit and see what he’s all about. I have a feeling he may have more secrets then I do. It’s in those eyes. There is something he’s hiding. (she taps her fingers on the table) What to do with you? She looks over at the clock. “Tick tock, tick tock, will you live another day or not, cross my path and you will see just the way it’s meant to be.” Till we meet again Mr. Detective. Sweet dreams Diary.

DEAR DIARY, (blog 2)

I barely slept. Maybe because the adrenaline keeps me going for a few days after a score. Rich men and their “hidden” safes and “secret” rooms. (she laughs) It never gets old and I do enjoy the game. It’s kind of like playing hide and seek where I always win. (her red lips give a slight girlish grin) I went into town this morning. Watched from a safe place and found this new Detective. He is extremely handsome which makes my job so much easier. There is something familiar about him. I have seen those eyes before. (she stops to think) He sat in the coffee shop for a while looking over some files that were neatly placed in folders. I wonder if one of them was mine? (she smiles) He looked like he was deep in thought as he ran his hand through his hair. Another officer came in shortly after and this one I knew from an encounter last year. Lucky him, he was the only one of four that actually made it. Guess I was feeling generous that day. (she grins) I don’t try to purposely hurt anyone really but a girl has to make a living… and have some fun. If they get in my way then I can’t be to blame. Others are just in the wrong place at the wrong time. (she runs her finger over the blade of her knife that’s sitting beside her) Society puts labels on people and who are they to decide who is so called good and who is bad? I have taken down many who deserved to be removed from this earth but no one appreciates that? So I have learned to be just as cold as my surroundings. So tomorrow it begins. I have a plan in mind for the Detective. (she smiles) He wants a menace? I’ll give him one! (her eyes get dark) Pleasant dreams my trusted diary.

DEAR DIARY, (blog 1)

The blood on my blade is already cold. To think how easy it is to trick these mere so called men. Should I feel bad? I don’t. I can’t remember the last time I cared. Maybe this was me all along. I rather enjoy the game and thrill of a good challenge. I don’t normally let any of them live but I thought this time I’d just make my move while he was out with one of the several girls he was seeing. These rich playboys think no one knows what they are up to. Well maybe some girls fall for their lies but I’m not just some girl. (she grins) So in all fairness he wasn’t supposed to be home. Oh I am sure his new love of the week will be so sad. I can see her crying all over her Chanel dress as she waits and he never shows up. Well until she moves on to the next rich guy sitting at the bar. (she laughs) I rather adore this bracelet. I always was a sucker for diamonds. (she looks down at her wrist) If he wasn’t so forgetful he wouldn’t of had to rush back home to get it. He put up a good fight I’ll give him that. His piercing dark eyes met mine one last time as I finished him off. Guess he shouldn’t try to date more then one women at a time. His gift to her is my gain. Along with everything else I scored. (she smiles) Oh well, onto the next I say. I will head into town tomorrow and figure out my next plan. I hear there’s a new guy on the force who vows to try and catch the menace. Imagine that? Calls me a menace? I need to keep an eye on this one. Figure out where he lives then decide what to do about him. He may just come in handy. (she taps her nails on the table) Time to clean up this mess. (she looks over at her knife) Morning is coming quick and I have places to be. Till next time Diary. Keep my secrets safe.



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